The lesson continues for Eugenie, Hogwarts’ most irrepressible student. Today
the syllabus covers “Feet-Up Endurance” — a 15-minute practical exam she is
spectacularly ill-prepared for.

Her beautiful dancer’s soles are locked in the device, tools are laid out, and the tickler begins. Eugenie’s in her uniform, which provides zero protection and maximum atmosphere. She fights, she begs, she attempts to negotiate course credits in exchange for mercy. The tickler is not interested in course credits. Fifteen minutes. No breaks. Full marks for effort, zero for composure.